Congratulations!  You have reached the magical milestone of having survived the first year of parenthood. The days and seemingly endless nights with a fussy newborn are, thankfully, now a distant memory, as are the heady days of each and every new baby milestone reached.  Parenting has taken on a new role.  You are now feeling like an ‘old hat’ at this game, and dispense freely of your advice around the dinner table to friends who have just become parents.  Suddenly push carts, dinky little shoes with laces and kiddies cutlery sets seem much more interesting than rattles and mobiles.

The toddler years are the transition between the baby he has outgrown and the child he is becoming. Let him enjoy them, savour them and let him exhilarate in all the new feelings and experiences he will encounter as his world opens up beyond just you, his parents or caregivers. His body, mind and imagination develop in leaps and bounds. However, the downside is that he is generally able to focus only on his own needs and desires (much like teenagers!). He will start to develop a will of his own, and will be able to only see things  from his point of view.

 

His language skills are developing, so he is more able to communicate. Most interaction with other children in the first years of toddler hood is pretty limited to push, poke and shove.  Don’t lose heart though, he will start to show an interest in other children, and by about the age of 3 years, has learned how to play with, as opposed to alongside, his peers, share toys and games and develop friendships. During the toddler years, memory and imagination are developed, but thinking is done in a non-logical, non-reversible manner – most toddlers live for the moment, have more power than sense and will be inclined to rush headlong into all sorts of behaviours with absolutely no regard of any danger, self control or consequences!  He will spot what he wants, and set off to get it, unaware of the crocodile pit on the way!

 

Toddler hood is the time of tantrums, teething, and conflict, but it is also a time of tremendous growth and development, both physically and emotionally.  Soon it will be time to wave goodbye to your child at the pre-school gate, and you will wonder where the toddler years went.
Was it really 3 years since he took his first wobbly steps?  Has he really been having conversations with me for the past 2 years?  Perhaps I can un-child proof my home?

 

It is very important that parents understand what constitutes normal toddler behaviour. If one has an understanding of what to expect from a toddler and accept and respect that that behaviour is quite normal for the space where your child is at right now, it will go a long way towards more effective, guilt-free and realistic parenting. Dr Christopher Green says that this period of time in your childs’ life is characterised by certain goals – for both parents and toddlers, namely:

 

Your role as a parent is to guide gently, set limits and introduce controls, avoid confrontation, and be 100% firm when needed.

Your new toddlers goals are to learn to control their bodies and behaviours, be able to separate from their parents, learn that tantrums don’t always work, become toilet trained and learn to share and respect others rights and possessions.