Corporal Punishment

 

Does It Pay to Deliver Pain as Punishment?

 

Hello there my name is Pauline and I am a behaviour expert for all children (including special needs). Here we will talk about issues around the topic of disciplining and behaviour. The most important part of parenting is keeping your child safe. A child who is well-behaved is the safest of them all! There is no promise that a child will never throw a tantrum or misbehave, but there is a way to manage your response as a parent to ensure that it happens as rarely as possible. Children are meant to push boundaries, learn, and keep you on your toes! We will help you with how to respond to these behaviours and also how to bond positively with your child so you can have the most fulfilling relationship possible.

 

Now, on to the very controversial topic of Corporal Punishment. In the home, most people feel that if you spank your own children, that is your business. In a school environment, does it pay to deliver pain as punishment? According to recent polls, 80% of people believe it does. If a stranger walked up to your child and hit them for no reason, it would be a lawsuit. How is it then alright to give someone the right to punish your child with physical violence in a setting where they need to feel safe and free to express themselves? Yes there are instances where the punishment or consequence needs to fit the unacceptable behaviours, but physical violence does not need to be the answer. When an adult uses their position or stature to intimidate or damage the child physically and emotionally, they are breaking the bonds with the child. Picture this: a child misbehaves in school, and gets slapped and humiliated in front of his/her classmates. At home, the parents are aware of the issue and they again use physical violence against the child for their behaviour at school. Is it any wonder the child feels like they do not need to behave? What adult do they have to look up to or respect, since they themselves, in their bodies and mind, are not being respected? The reality is there are misbehaviours that make adults so angry they feel the need to use corporal punishment, but that in itself is an unacceptable behaviour. To be an effective adult that children listen to and respect, it is an absolute that they do not use their power in a physically or emotionally damaging way.

 

There are many different ways to discipline a child, but to be truly effective one must be demanding and warm. That means an adult must set limitations and boundaries for the child, and have clearly laid consequences for when those are overstepped. Being warm means being open to the child, giving positive feedback and not creating a sense of rigidity. Fear should not be in the hearts of children when it comes to being loved, taught or taking care of. The action of the misbehaviour must be addressed immediately and in a way the child understands. The time out method is effective if used properly. In most cases, using positive reinforcement not only encourages a child but creates a safe feeling within them that leads to better grades and socializing. Discipline should be the smaller part of a parent's time with a child.

 

If you have any questions, or would like more information, please feel free to contact me!

 

Pauline Mulkerrins
www.understandingfamilies.co.za